Naruto Greatest Hero
by XxXGaryStuXxX
Summary: Naruto greatest hero in leafy village. This story follows naruto in his quest to get all bitches with his pimp swag and to defeat emo fag boy saske. forbes rates 10/10! plz read review but dont flame ok i am new write not english speak but dw i take higher lvl english i have grammar good so if u narto fan plz reaed this
1. Chapter 1

Naruto Greatest Hero

Naruto walked down the streets of the leafy village rofling hard, a can of pain in his hand and a red paintbrush.

Naruto was the most awesome ninja in the leafy village but nobody else gave him respect, probably because he spent all his time doing awesome pranks like a b4u5

Naruto was the most awesome ninja for so many raesons. He had much strength and was always ready to defeat other ninjas in ninja school but he did not like to beat up pu$$ies like that loser saske.

Naruto was dressed in his usually gangsta clothes, he wore an orange swagsuit and had on a pair of goggles. He had spiky blonde hair and 3 kitty whiskers on his face (for that extra sex appeal, nevermind that hes 13 since that's illegal hes actually 18 lol) He also had his pain can and paintbrush which was good for graffiti and keeping away da bitches that were always after his fine a$$. For now, though, he had to lay low.

The authority in da hood were probably after him cuz he drew some swag on mount rushmore of hidden leaf village, which had stoney faces of the 4 greates ninjas. Naruto knew he would suprass them tho.

Naruto started singing "I wanna be the very best like no ninja ever was, to fuck her pussy is my quest to train her is my cuase"… when suddenly he saw a fist shoot out from the corner of his eye. It was heading straight towards his face at the speed of a bullet train.

With his ninja reflexes Naruto dodged it and grabbed the opponent's shirt, thinking one of the police had caught him with the pain can he had been graffiti with. However he realized he was mistaken when he grabbed b00b.

Recognizing a shock of pink hair (seriously, wtf did she die her hair with, the blood of virgins?) Naruto realized that in his attempt to throw down he had ended up groping sakura. He was so busy feeling up sakuras bewbs that he didn't notice her fist swing again.

Naruto hit the ground like a sack of cement hits cement. He groaned. Sakura started bitching at him, as always.

"NARUTO FUK U U WERE DOING GRAFITTI AGAIN WERENT U? SINGING SOME SONG ABOUT WOMEN AND THEN GROPING ME BLAH BLAH BLAH"

Naruto made a mental note. "When I'm best ninja for real, ban feminism".

Evidently he had accidentally said this out loud because Sakura started bitching more trying to push her feminist agenda. Naruto secretely wondered if she would be less mad if she wasn't a virgin. Maybe he could get some first blood. Naruto resolved to offer up his, erm, services.

Sakura, however, was suddenly distracted by the arrival of saske. Saskes a pussy emo (literally tahts all you need to know about him) and Naruto hated him, mostly because he was a massive pussy emo kid and got all the chicks, including sakura. Sakura immediately started acting feminine.

"O-Oh, sasuke chan-san-whateveridontknowhowtospeakjapanesedumbfuck, I was just conversationing with narutard here".

Saske ignored her. "smart move" Naruto thought "even sasuke realizes sakura is a she-demon". A she-demon Naruto wanted to lift her skirt, but a she-demon nonetheless.

Saske walked away looking really deprezzd. Nartuo saw scars on his wrists and a razor in his pocket. Naruto rolled his eyes. What a pussy bitch ass emo piece of worthess shit pimp scumbag. No wonder the ladies like him, he was emo (which attracts girls) and was such a massive pussy that he probably had no penis and wouldn't even be able to rape them.

With saske gone sakura continued her tirade, pulling feminist phamplets out of her cleavage and shoving them at Naruto. Naruto made a show out of smelling them and got another slap in the face. Sighing, Naruto realized that it was going to be a looooooooooooooooong day.

(see what I did there the word looooooooooooooooooong is literally long hue)

**AN (THAT STANDS FOR AUTHORS NOTE DUMBUFKCS) Hello ty for read first chapter of this fanfic it is collaboration between me and a friend.**

**Our story is about Naruto being the most awesome bitch ass niga in the most awesome kick ass anime.**

**Any anime besides bleach one piece and Naruto suck and if u disagree u can suck narutos cock lol**

**Viva brazil huehuehue**

**Plz comment and review if u do this I write extra! huehue**


	2. Chapter 2

Naruto Greatest Hero EPISODE TWO

Naruto moaned (and not in a sexually way). How could a day go from awesome to gay so fast. Seriously.

He's just spent the past half an hour getting bitched at by sakura for literally no reason. Like it was his fault he accidentally squeezed her bewbs.

"Note to self" he thought. "Sakuras a biatch. A hot biatch that I totally want to hit but still a biatch".

Naruto looked at his watch and moaned again. "seriously" he thought to himself "today suck so bad I'm moaning more than when I jack off". He was late for ninja school.

Naruto had to go to ninja school even tho he was already best ninja, cuz nobody would give him respect until he graduated.

Naruto walked into ninja school and saw that most of the class was alredy there. He looked around the room to see where he could maybe sit.

Sakura was sitting in the back of the room was sakura she was staring at the back of saskes head. Saske was being a little bitch and all the girls were staring at him and moaning with perverted pleasure as he slit his wrists and also moaned sexualy.

Naruto stared at the scene for a few seconds before realizing that he liked his eyes and didn't want them burnt out by saskes faggotry. "what a fucking emo crack haus whore bitch cunt son of a" he mutterd under his breath.

Evidently sakuras demon bat ears heard him because she started giving him an even meaner look than the one he got when he grabbed her bewb. Naruto sat down without even looking who he was next to because he was beyond giving a fuck. How was he supposed to concentrate in class when there was an emo biatch piece of shit behind him slitting his wrists and moaning sexually surrounded by several gurlz watching him slit his wrists and having orgasms.

Narto felt a small tug on his shoulder and froze. Oh shit. He had made a great mistake.

He looked beside him to see Hinata.

"oh shit." Naruto thought to himself.

He was going to die.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~INTERMISSION~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hinata smiled at Naruto, tugging his sleeve.

Naruto glared at her and silently willed her to go away. GO AWAY. GO AWAY!

Hinata gripped Naruto more tightly in what was a loving embrace. Naruto looked around the room sweating hard. If Neji saw his little sister groping him, no doubt it would somehow be HIS fault.

Naruto kept willing her to go away. GO AWAY. But it wasn't workin. In the background saske was practically dying of blood loss but Naruto was too fucked up in his present situation to care.

Hinata was hugging him tightly now. Naruto wished he knew what her fuckin addiction was. Any minute now neji would come in and he would be SO FUCKED. He's probably get beat up with the entire class watching cuz nejis a massive jackass.

Naruto gave up and went ham.

"GOD DAMMIT HINATA FIX YOUR FUCKING MENTAL ISSUE AND GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME YOU SERIAL RAPIST"

Naruto heard the sound of a door crashing open and didn't even turn around. "JUST MY FUCKING LUCK" he yelled as Neji ran in, grabbed Naruto, and shoved him against a wall.

"WHY WONT YOU JUST FUCK HER" neji yelled. Naruto yelled back.

"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING FUCK HER YOU DUMB FUCK PIECE OF SHIT IM NOT PUTTING MY DICK IN YOUR LITTLE SISTER MOST BIG BROTHR WOULD LIKE THAT FACT SO ACCEPT IT YOU FUCKING CUNTWAD"

Hintas eyes filled with tears but Naruto didn't actually give a fuq. He was pretty much screwed anyways so no point in trying to save himself.

Nejis eyes filled with rage. His veins started pulsing.

Naruto shivrd. His veins.

In his eyes.

Neji yelled in his face "WHY WONT YOU JUST HIT HER. SHES HOT AND REALLY RICH AND OUR FAMILY IS FUCKING POWERFUL"

Naruto marshald his courage.

He opened his mouth and glared at Neji.

He yelled…

MAYBE BECAUSE YOUR EYES ARE FREAKY AS FUCK! YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY IS FUCKING FREAKY YOU FREAKY FUCKING BIATCH A$$ NIGG ! Who the FUCK has VEINS IN THEIR FUCKING EYES?!

The door banged open again and a voice called out. A masculine voice, but with a feminist accent.

"Boooooys, stop having gay sex against the wall~"

Nartu and Neji stopped gropi- I mean fighting each other and yelled

"NO WAY WOULD I FUCK THIS MAN WHORE, HE NEEDS TO GIVE HIS VIRGIN TO MY SISTER"

"NO WAY AM I FUCKING THIS FREAKY A$$ PIECE OF $HIT HIS EYES ARE SCARY AS FUCK. Seriously though.. HE HAS VEINS IN HIS FUCKING EYES POPPING. HIS SISTERS THE SAME AND IM NOT HITTING THAT.

Naruto continued.

"NEJIS ONE CREEPY A$$ NIGGA, HE HAS LONG BROWN HAIR AND VEINY EYES. HE LOOKS LIKE A REALLY UGLY GIRL. HIS SISTERS REALLY HOT BUT AGAIN VEINY EYES."

Iruka the trans ninja teacher winked at everybody in the room and swiveled his hips.

Narto groaned. No way in hell this idiot would be any help.

"We can settle this later before we literally get fucked by that trans pedophile bastard" Neji muttered. Evidently Neji valued his innocence as much as narto did.

"Yes" Naruto agreed "although the one in danger here is saske"

Naruto and neji got to their seats. Hinata moved towards Naruto. Naruto glared at her, but received a tap on the shoulder and saw neji's veiny eyes giving him a deth look. Naruto groaned and dealt with hinata clutching him.

"Fucking veiny eyes" he muttered under his breath. In the meantime, class was starting.

Izuma spoke in his girly yet manly voice.

"Alright kids, 3,2,1! Lips zipped, eyes up here! Listen up my ninja superstars!"

Naruto was not in the mood for BS.

"Hey, teach, teach me how to fuck bitches up. Like, not literally fuck chicks, I know how to do that, I mean-"

Naruto was quicly interrupted. "Naruto, ignoring how stupid it is to imagine you could hurt anybody, except for saske because hes such a pu$$y"-

All the girls in the class, including izuma, gave saske an adoring look. Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Can you apply any ways of knowing to fucking bitches up? What about applying it to a different knowledge issue or area of knowledge?" (international IB students will get this joke)

Narto banged his head on the desk.

**AN: My friend was going to write second chapter but I wanted to write it since he was taking long (by my standards.) he will update it over weekend because if he doesn't I will fuckign wrek him swer on me mum. **

**Plz subscribe to our narto fanfic and review many chapters coming up. **

**If u have any problems with what im doing with ur favourite narto characters IDGAF cuz this is how Naruto should have been written. Plz write msg to me or put comment if u want anything to happen to ur charcters the plot is still taking shape can go any direction except one direction cuz they are fags.**

**TY for read and subscribe this fic until next (or next next since my frend is writing next on) chapter! **


	3. Chapter 3

As class went on Naurto was bored as fuck. "Srsly... who even fuckign hired Izuma as a teacher" Naruto thoguth to himself. "THe only reason he went trans and teach class is to try and fuck saske".

Speaking of fucking, Naruto was sandwiched between two veiny eyed people. Neji was still mad he wouldnt fuck hinata and hinata was still sad he wouldnt fuck her. "I gotta keep them off of my a$$" Naruto thoguht to himself. "Sure hinata is cute but DAMN THOSE FUCKIN EYES and also turning her down is the source of my self esteem".

Bored, Naruto started to drift off to sleep. It had been a long night of grafiti with his can of pain and Naruto needed to rest. This BS class was the perfect place to do it. Neji looked at naruto jealous. He wanted to sleep 2 but his dick hurt from the last time that Izuma caugt him sleeping and raped him. Literally. Jeez why so thirsty.

"Narutos not in any danger of being fucked tho LOL" Neji thoght to himself. Then he looked on the other side of Naruto and saw his sister gazing at him adoringly. "Well... except hinata, and i dont even know-"

Neji was burst out of his thoughts by a loud voice. For a minute he thoguth he had been caught daydreaming but then realized it was probably Naruto sleeping...

"NARUTO WAKE UP YOU STUPID CUNT! YOUR IN CLASS U DUMBASS IF U WANT TO BE NINJA LISSEN TO WHAT IM SAYING YOU FUCKING STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!"

To his credit Naruto woke up at an alarming rate and also in full rage mode. "Shut the FUCK up you trap skank litearlly all you do is sit in the front of class and bs for like an hour fucking queer bait go play with ur dildos"

"THATS IT NARUTO UR EXPELLED FOR BEING A LITTLE BITCH". Naruto looked angry. Hinata started crying and tried to comfort Naruto.

This only served to piss Naruto off more.

GOD DAMN it Hinata could you LITERALLY NOT TOUCH ME FOR LIKE 5 SECONDS." Neji started kicking Naruto under the desk. Naruto grit his teeth, pissed.

"OK THATS IT I DONT EVEN GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE IM OUT OF HERE SEE YA ALL STUPID HOES"

Naruto got out of the class angry tears in his eyes. Saske followed him and of course all the girls noticed. "Hey where are you going Saske" said Izuma. "Im rly depressed and need my pills". Saske said. Izuma threw a bag of white poweder at him. "if u want to cheer up just snort some coke ok... and then come to my house ;)" saske rolled his eyes and left.

Naruto sat on teh swing still crying angry tears. He had just been kicked out of fucking ninja school and the only thing you had to do for Izumas class was remember to get high before the lesson started so u could understand the course.

Saske came behind Naruto. "Hey man r u sad? im sry for u gettng kicked out by Izuma"

Naruto rolled his eyes and dried them. "I dont care that class was BS anyways i can be great ninja without it. Why are you talking to me anyways. Go fuck some bitches, oh wait, you would rather slit ur wrists."

Saske lookd sad. "Hey man its not my fault i have depression. Not all ppl with depression r emo u kno, i dont want attention, but for some reason everybody always watches me. its fuckign creepy. Last night i caught sakura going through my garbage can to get some food i had eaten so she could have my DNA".

Naruto was shocked. "emos only act depressed for attention but if you are legit depression and dont want attention i misjudged u, sry mang"

Saske smiled. "Its ok."

Naruto was still curiosu about something tho. "Why are you so depress anyways?"

Saske looked sad again. "Well... it is because of my family.. i dont tell anybody about this before but thats because nobody asked. You asked so i will tell u the story."

Saskes eyes welled up with tears as he relate the terrible thing that had happen...

"M-my brother itchy... he.. he..

he...

shanked my hole family...

because we bought him the wrong color iphone for his birfday."

**AN: ty very much for reading and liking and reviewing to show appreciation i will respond to comments. to show who im responding 2 i will write short version of comment then response. I put reviews in bold and response not bold 2 make easy for read. **

**Gest: get the fk off here trash**

MAN SHUT UP OK IM NOT PAID TO DO THIS SHIT YOU DIDNT PAY TO READ THIS SO U HAVE NO REASON TO BE SO HURT IN BUTT

**Aurora Wesker: holy shit this is bad go to special ed class**

Ok man, for my country (brazil) i am very good english, maybe it is hard for u 2 believe but not all ppl in world are english native language, some of us have to work to learn it and i work hard and my english very good for my class..**. **

**Guest: I think these stupid haters dont know what parody is, fuck them, keep on writing**

TY man you are so right, much appreciated, some ppl have no sense of humor and this fic is even in parody section but some ppl dont get that it seems lol...

**Anonymous: "This shit is garbage, go to psych man etc etc"**

u should meet up with hooker and get ur dick examined u fucking raging vergin fannerd lol

**Yolo: Nerrrrrrd**

actually here in school in brazil in my school naruto es most popular and futbol is very popular so i am maybe naruto nerd but i am very popular :3 huehuehue

**sonygger: le epic ftw**

it will only get more epic my friend hope u enjoy keep reading!

**Senrab: if u think is good english u delusional or english teacher lying, why tag saske if u only bash him, this not how naruto should be written, quit since u are already behind**

ok first of all in brazil en my school my englihs very good ok i know that many good brazil men have better english but in my class i am best im SO FUCKIGN SORRY that not all countries have english first lagnuage...

also as u can see saske is only misunderstood by naruto and i describe him from narutos perspective, we know in anime that naruto does nto like saske but dont wory i dont hate saske

**this is how naruto should be it is funny and mlg and brazil huehuehue**

maybe u should quit life because u are raging fannerd douche, nobody makes you read this u know, u didnt pay to read this so u have nothing to be mad about

**BrainII: you think this how naruto should be written with bad english and grammar blah blah **

ok man listen i am brazil not english first language ok not all countries have enligh first language i try ok but es not easy for me, man, i have to learn this language and am trying but believe it or not all ppl do not speak english from birth...why should i die just because i am brazil and do not know english as good as american or british man, and that makes me fake naruto fan, wtf? fucking racist, maybe u should go die

**voodoo: utter crap**

u know what else is utter crap, every word that comes from ur flamer mouth, if you dont have constructive criticism dont comment u virgen raging fannerd

**Guest: are you brazilian, nice to see another, that makes 2 of us **

huehue yes, es good to see other brazilian! hope u enjoy story countryman!

**Hanmac: funny parody, hinata would react like that**

ty man am glad u enjoy and not rage at me for not perfect english and grammar, es good u enjoy, hope u keep enjoying my story!

**Guest: not to flame but it is called hidden leaf village and get help on grammar**

ty for saying not to flame man, es good that you dont flame and understand. I like hidden leafy village better ;p et sounds more funny imo and this es parody. we have many leafy trees here in brazil, if u put ninjas in them maybe i move to panama!

**guest: garbage**

fk off u damn flamer u r garbage and cancer on ur mum

**guest: your grammar is just as bad as your spelling loser**

your face is as ugly as ur stuntded dick lose**r**

**wolfboy: ahh, next chapter i guess**

haha hes enjoy next chapter es only going to get better!

**afrocios: i laughd looking forwards to chapter 2**

haha glad you enjoyed tnx for reading!

**that is all expect update soon my friend says he write next chapter next lesson of class! so writing style will be different. TY for reading subscribe etc!**


	4. Chapter 4

Narto was shocked by what saske said.

"what the fukc? basterd is lucky to even get iphone who cares what color it is"

Saske sighed deprezzed. "itchy was always a little biatch. he shank my mother, my father, my brothers, and my other relative obito died a while ago so now i am only one of my family. only good thing is i get all inheritence money so im rich as fuck."

Naruto looked impressed. "thats cool haha im so fuckin poor"

"you should come hang at my place sometime" saske said. Naruto smiled.

"It's weird" naruto thought to himself "i used to hate saske but now that i know his story we gon be great friends"

"What are you going to do now?" saske asked. "you got kicked out of ninja school"...

Naruto grinned.

For the next few weeks naruto just ran around stealing shit and doing wahtever the fuck he wanted. with his can of pain he made grafitti all over the place and pissed the ninja police off all the time. He stole the hokages hat and jacked off into it to show what he thought of the so called "greatest ninja" and also stoll a magic scroll and learned how to maek clones of himself.

"I just wish the magic scroll also had a love spell" naruto thought "then i coudl make clones and do an orgy with sakura".

Naruto and saske hanged out a lot but saske still seemed pretty sad. The one good thing about being kicked out of naruto was that he didnt have to deal with hinatas creepy vayney eyes and he coudl crash at saskes mansion whenever he wanted.

However, this didn't las very long... one day naruto was walking down the street when he saw a sign. it said on it "naruto- wanted for being too dank for this village, grafitti, and come in hokages hat". the price was $ .000

narto froze and heard steps behind him. several people were running to catch him, and he cursed.

"fuck! i gotta get out of here"

the heat was on and naruto was out

**AN: sorry it tok so long for new chapter i go on vacation for a while and no wifi so unable to update but dw the trollers and flamers have not driven me away this story will continue! this chapter short but next chapter things will really pick up and the action will start so be ready for some epic ninja fights**

**now, response to review time: **

**nomis senrab**

The only reason I am even bothering to write this review is because I don't like having my words twisted.

I was referring to Hinata, not Sasuke, please note the spelling. The last chapter consisted of nothing but bashing her character. Thank you for badly misquoting me and taking what I said out of context.

Just because your spelling and grammar is supposedly the best in your class does not mean it is good. Show your english teacher this work and see what the reaction is.

**OK well in the original you didnt say which character i was bashing and i hate both cahracters (except saske but in that chapter i pretend i hate him) so HOW DO U EXPECT ME TO KNOW WHICH ONE U MEAN? if u didnt expect me twist your words then be more clear. **

**also it es good english for brazil i am sorry that not all country are english first language, so fuck off plz you elitist asshole. **

**novrier**

Kind of hard to decide.  
If this is a parody that is just supposed to be funny, then I guess it is amusing in a way. I won't say that I actually enjoy it, but for a smile or two it is good enough (don't care that much about grammar as long as I can understand what is going on).  
If this is supposed to be an actual story, I mean a serious one, then I am afraid it doesn't really reach that level, too much bashing, too little character development, unbelievable and illogical actions and so on.  
So it all depends on this: is this a parody story or not?

**if u look at fic information it is listed under parody does that answer your question _ **

**afrocsion**

First chap was funny now it just hurts to read sorry mang but better luck next time

**haha np man sry u dont enjoy but dw i understand that not all ppl will like this fic so i respect ur opinion especially becuz u do not flame **

**wolfboy**

Dude...if trying is your hardest you on the right track bro... Fuck the bull these aholes give you and keep writing this is fucken hilarious enjoyed every bit of it. Don't give a crap about the spelling just adds more character to it! Shit I cant spell and I'm American so keep it up bro...oh and plus its funny as hell to see you rag on haters

**ty man support is much appreciated! i really think the ppl who are raging over this story probably jack off while they are doing it because it gives them sick pleasure lol but idgaf they are all skrubs anyways! this story will continue no matter how much ppl rage over it ^_^**

**guest**

Your grammar sucks. You probably jerk off thinking about your mother. This is garbage that needs to be deleted.

**what do my grammar and my mother have in common? nothing u dum fuk, dont bring random shit into ur review. u are garbage that needs to be deleted off the face of the earth, if i jack off to my mother u probably raep ur mother every night u suck fuk. **

**guest**

If you are Brazilian then why are you posting stories in English.

**if you are asking question why are u not ending sentence with question mark... _**

**to answer question i am posting in english to practice english and make story available to wider group **

**Guest**

You are a Digrace to Black heirtage and have no pride. Saying N Word like a Brain washed fool

**lol no man u are say nigga all time with pride u fool we take word of discrespect and we make it into cool word that we black ppl greet each other to show that we dont give a fk what while ppl think of us and used to call us **

**u are probably old man or something, go back to reading books im amazed u know how to use cmptr **

**guest**

terrible grammar

**its not terrible es best in class sry but not all ppl english speakign first language elitist asshole**

**assmilk1 (i liek ur username man) **

This is either parody or the result of doing a line of cocaine and huffing paint thinner before writing a fanfiction, even for parody it's ridiculous, lol I hope this is just trolling and "Any anime besides bleach, one piece and naruto sucks" can you be anymore close minded?

This has to be the your most well written chapter, "effort" (and i use that loosely) was seemingly put in the making of this chapter, it was still ridiculously stupid and went absolutely no where but this is a step up for you lol

I didn't think it was possible but you actually made this worse then the first chapter, I never thought such mediocrity could ever be matched lol, even for parody this story sucks on all levels

**IT IS A PARODY YOU STUPID FUCK. DO U EVEN SEE THAT THE STORY IS LISTED UNDER PARODY OF COURSE IT IS PARODY U RETARD **

**Ty i did put effort in second chapter and all chapters glad u thought it was good**

**u suck on all levels, plz dont flame man what is wrong with et? story es very good es very good story you will see as i write more chapters... **

**i still liek u tho ur username makes me laguh so kudos **

**Guest**

Lame. Character bashing

**? i es not understand, no character get bashed yet, i do not write deth scenes yet **

**ok guys ty for reading i will be updating probably sometime this week maybe friday with new chapter! story only es get better my frends! so plz read, review, like, follow, subscribe, etc! **


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: OMG GUYS sry I not wrote in long tiem, u see a man is coming on day of school from the bad place (german), german is bad since they not only are of th nazi they also beated us in world cup 7/1... it is still day of shame... he remind us of this when we insult him so we all got sad, I was 2 deprezzd to keep wtih fic. Later though I lose cmptr (gotta use school cmptr lab im 2 poor for iphone also) so i have to wait until school start again to keep writing lol. **

**even if brazil is lose in world cup last year we are still havings the bigger dik than the white men so fuk u all hu3hu3hu3**

**Ok anyways sotry is of continue!**

As naruto was running from leafy village he heard the laem ninjas chasing him.

"OMFFG why u so BUTTHURT" Narto yelld after them and the ninjas yelled "U DONT RESPECT UR ELDERS LIL FUKER"

Naruto had to run even faster, but he saw a blue blur in treez... it was saske!

"Hi narto" saske said "I'll help u eskape. I hve a frend that needs our help."

Narto grinned, "Great then we will be able to get money from friend for services then escape this place. Altho u dont need money lol"

Narto and Saske soon escape and meet with saskes frend. he is a man with rly white hair that is sticking up, has pirate eyepatch on, and is reading porn (lol its tru, watch the show if u dont believe)

"Kashki u fuker stop reading ur h-comics and help us get away" saske yelld. Kashki (thats his name btw) stopped reading his h-comic (that stands for hentai comic, its like weird asian pr0nz lol) and looked straight at the ninjas chasing naruto and saske, and lifted up his eyepatch.

His eye was red and glowy and black and wierd. Narto swore "WTF more of this weird eye shit man wtf is this" but kashki yelled "I USE THE SHARING EYE" and his eye shared all his ninja skillz. The opponent ninjas couldn't take it and were hit by fire and water.

"Saske it is good u are here I need u 4 mission" Kashki said. "I do not know u bring this loser but k i guess he is the live shield hu3hu3hu3"

"This is narto hes a frend" saske said.

Kashki reached into a bush and pulled a yelling somebody out by pink hair. "Is this one of those grllz who is stalk u all day saske"

Narto and Saske swore. "God fucking dammit sakra why u gotta stalk" narto swore at her, she tried to fite him but kashki still had her by the hair.

"Whatever i guess she is also of the living shield" kashki said to himself. "u will come 2 if u can stfu and not alert the enemees where we are."

Sakra stopped fiting and sat on the ground fuming. Kashki sighed.

Narto looked around and shrugged. He was greatest ninja and he knew this would be of the greatest adventure!

**Thankz for reading my fic thankz again 4 waiting so long i willl write more but not in 2 months lol maybe next week i promise k so plz review and DONT FLAME IF U THINK ITS BAD JUST DON"T READ IT FFS XD**

**THIS IS HOW NARTO SHULD BE WRITEN SO IF U LIKE NARTO KEEP READING IT ONLY GETS MORE GOOD!**


	6. Chapter 6

Narto had been walking 5eva (get it cuz its moar than 4eva)

"Godammit Kashki wen r we done wit dis?" Narto said loudly.

"Shaddup u godamn kid, ur just a person shield, huehuehue" kashki said snorting.

Saske sighed. "Sakra could u PLZ stop staring at my a$$ while were going 2 our hideout"

Sakra stared harder. "why'd u say it like "a$$?" she asked.

Naruto grinned. "becuz that shit is cash gurl"

"I DIDN'T ASK U NARTO" sakra yelled at him.

Kashki sighed. "Dammit saske, why u bring these kids with u, they r much to noisy to be good shield. Shields just STFU and take the hits 4 me not bitch all the tiem"

Saske shrugged. "Nartos kewl I think its mostly sakra hating naruto and being a fuking creeper"

Sakra said "thanks saske"

Narto sighed. "Well I guess even greatest ninja journeys start out rly lame"

***BREAK BECAUSE FANFICTION CANT FORMAT 4 SHIT PLZ REPORT IGN 0/10***

As Kashki entered a open place in the forest (it had no treez) 2 ppl dropped down from above.

"Hahaha, it is us, the ppl of the misty village! We are doing the ambush on u! hahaha!"

Kashki shrugged. "Narto kill these punky loserz plz, fighting them is below me.

Narto glared at his challengers. They were both misty, so he couldnt see what they were looking like.

"Misty ninjas, hah, u cant fite for shit lol, ur just like, clouds"

Kashki yelled "STOP BEING A DUMASS NARTO AND FKING KILL THEM ALREDDY"

Narto refused. "I thought i was just humen shield"

"I'll upgrade u to dumbass kid if u hury up and kill these gaiz" Kashki said.

"Best im gonna get" Narto muttered to himself, he approached the other ninjas and sed "K just stand still for a sec"

He took out a knife from his fanni pack and aimed it careful then threw, but IT PAST RIGHT THRU THE MISTY NINJA!

"WTF?!" narto said. "this is fuckign bs guys cmon"

He tried to kick them. However, the misty ninja made gang sign and water fell from heaven. "Raging attack: God piss jutsu!"

Naruto swore as he went under water.

"K u guyz asked for this!" he sed. He flashed the gang sign of feminist. "I use... SEXY JUTSU!"

Narto turned into a sexy fox lady who had magical clouds helpfully hiding her bewbs and vag to keep the kids show a kids show

The misty ninjas turned into solid ninjas. "Let's raep it!"

Saske took out a ninja star and threw it at them, it hit one guy in the hed and killed him then bounced onto the other gaiz chest and killd him 2.

"Strategy!" narto yelled. However, he turned around to see kashki staring at him with so much lust, kashki had dropped his pronz book.

"OH SHEET" narto yelled, however in his panic he couldnt make gang sign for patriarchy, so he ran into the forest.

Kashki laughed then picked his book back up. "Haha, he's not even good humen shield anymore, guess I scared him off."

Narto poked his head from the bush he was hiding. "Dammit kashki"

With the misty ninjas out of the way nartos epic ninja journey kept going!

**Okay now i answer comments**

ck chapter 4 . Aug 24

'it es good english for brazil.'

You made our country disgraced. Even as Brazilian, your English is way too broken man.

**so b/c i speak second language not good i am disgrace of brazil? stop being such an asshole prick i am not born speaking english k im just keed fuck offfffff**

Guest chapter 4 . Aug 23

Best in the class? Unless your English is on par with Shakespeare, you can be proud hell even keep on posting it iin every single chapters. Damn, how close minded can you be? More like putting your school in shame to know this is the best, wonder how the education programmes in Brazil if this is the best according to what you said.

**"iin"**

**"programmes"**

**lol u cant spell either fuck off lol**

**also i sed it was best in my school not in EVERY school dum fuk and im in ghetto plz**

guest chapter 5 . Aug 23

You kept on saying your English is the best in your class and if this is the best? Wow. Why don't you just write in Brazilian? Stop making excuses that not everyone's first language is English, there are authors who mothers tongue not english but have perfect written grammar and spelling and what worse you're being rude in replying those who stated facts. Are all Brazilian people like you?

**we r speaking english second language k, ur such a prick, maybe we dont all have the time to maek it perfect this english, however i can still post stories, dont like dont read **

**lol ur judging all brazil based on one guy on ur a retard and a prick, plz go drink cyanide **

Huarta chapter 5 . Aug 24

Keep writing

Do it or I'll kill you.

Not really this shit is amazing

**tnx m8 ill keep write**

Huarta chapter 3 . Aug 24

Hey man don't listen to all these mother fuckin hoes because they just want something good like angsty shit and crap like that.

But I really wuv this shit and I hope u write more because it really make me laugh my ass off. Also they just don't understand the word parody. But I think every person does t have good fuckin perfect grammar

**idk man some ppl just have no humor, like there are much more dumbass things than my story lol like those cool MLG parody videos on utube, ppl just hate on this b/c they want me to write the story of angsty emo kid or some shit**

FloralTears chapter 1 . Aug 24

ayy lmao

**ikr**


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